No Jazzy News

After tears, sleepless nights, and two grand, I was not able to recover anything from my old PC. I did no lose my job but I may as well have. I don’t really know how to describe the feeling. Having to essentially start all over again in a job I’ve had for two years is so fucked up. Even finding a new job is going to be a big pain in the ass because I lost my resumes. I empathize (to a certain degree) with people who have lost their homes to fires and natural disasters because not a day goes by that you don’t think of something else you are without. I’m trying to move forward, but it’s been difficult and has made work EXTREMELY busy.

Since work has been so stressful, I was looking forward to unwinding some. For some unexplainable reason, when I get extremely stressed out, I get really hot for some heavy making out, like the kind you did in high school (and I did in jr high). This weekend was no exception but as it turned out, this was the wrong year to sacrifice heavy make-out sessions with girls and gay guys for Lent, as the odds would’ve totally been in my favor.

It was a girls’ weekend with my dental friends and I took them to my favorite little dive karaoke bar, where we ended up partying with Nate Berkus. (If you know who Nate Berkus is, chances are we won’t be able to make out this Lenten season.) And even though there was no making out, it was a rousing good time, for sure. I did make a no-gay Lent exception for Nate, who gave me a lovely peck goodbye. Yes, gay guys adore me.

Chicago was pounded by some lame polar ice shield on Saturday night so we took a low-key approach to the evening by eating an amazing meal, having a few (a lot of) drinks, and falling asleep to SNL (which was terrible, by the way.)

See – this post was totally not worth the wait. I was going to come out with JAZZ HANDS, but didn’t really have the creative bug today. I’ll hit it on Friday, when I usually relinquish myself to the thought that there is no sense in doing the work that no one will care about until Tuesday.

Everything's Lost.

Friday was, without doubt, the worst day of my life. I am not talking about with relation to when there was a death or something like that, I talking about the worst thing that could happen to me, personally. (Like I said, my life is full of peaks and valleys.) My work computer’s harddrive crashed and I, foolishly, had not backed anything up… ever.

I lost everything, personally and professionally.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be looking for a new job next week… it’s too bad my resume was also on my harddrive.

And to think I was going to write an Anna Nicole Smith post.

Merci mes amis

I would like to say, “Thank you.” Thanks to each and every one of you… in fact, since there are only like four of you – a double thanks! I’m not sure if you prayed for me, thought of me, or simply masturbated to a picture of my tits, but whatever you did – it worked. (And to the latter – you’re welcome.) Last night, I went into work (bartending) and found out I won the Superbowl pool – to a tune of $400! Seeing as how I generally lose at life, it was completely unexpected. Then, this morning – I had hot water!!! I’ll still need to get a new water heater, but not right now and most certainly after I’ve smoked, snorted, or aborted the better part of that $400… and by “better part”, I mean “all”. So, keep up the good work, friends, mommie needs to go to the clinic.


I know, another French title.. wtf, right?

Water Woes

Some days are winners, others are not. Today would fall in the “not” category. Last night, after doing a few dishes, I went to bed. This is only significant for one reason- last night, I had hot water. This morning, however, I was less than delighted to find out my water heater was again on the fritz. I showered at the gym and came into work, only to find out the building I work in is completely without water. Not to fret, however, a Port-a-potty is on order I was told… which is fabulous news considering the -3 degree weather. I don’t know if any of you have ever been ice fishing and had to go to the bathroom… it’s a lot like that… and nothing short of awesome.

You know - overall, things really aren't so bad. Sure, it wasn't a great day, but it was hardly a horrible day... not like when I totaled my new car, sent my best friend to the hospital, and was admitted to rehab for the first time. Maybe I need more grey in my life – fewer peaks and valleys. But that is another post for another day.

Well, I have to go pee now... which means bundling up and walking a quarter mile to the building next door because I'll be damned if I am going to sit on frozen feces.