Thanksgivings gone by

Remember last year at this time, I had just gotten back from Tobago… and the year before that, Costa Rica… and the year before that, Brazil… and the year before that, Hawaii.

Hmmm, it’s no wonder why gambling in Milwaukee or dinner in Skokie just didn’t do it for me this year. (Hell, even before the vacations, I used to go back home and get drunk with friends.)

Sure, real turkey gravy is good… but not as good as it is when it’s tasted on the kiss of some local who has just licked it off my tits.

Numerous platefuls

I have nothing interesting to say today. I think I'm still a bit lethargic from the mass amounts of food I consumed these past 5 days. Seriously - holy fucking shit.

Blue Balled

Do you ever have one of “those days” at work? Now imagine having that day for 7 straight weeks. 7 weeks is an arbitrary number, really; it certainly feels more like a year but I’m sure there had to be at least one highlight in the last two months… but I think “those days” have stunted my ability to see the sun through the clouds. Maybe this is what it feels like before you divorce.
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This weekend was all right. Sure, serving dollar drafts and sloe comfortable screws to the local trailer park community isn’t everybody’s idea of fun, but what else is a gal with horrible spending habits to do?
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It’s a good year to be a Buc!! Saturday was spent like any other of recent – cheering on the mighty Ohio State Buckeyes to another victory. Some friends and I met up at a local bar featuring the game. I was throwing around a bit of game myself... the game of a true lady playa. I was talking to (aka: flirting with) some guys at a nearby table prior to leaving mid-game to go work. Here was the later exchange between my friend (also OSU alum) and I.

Jen: Those guys asked about you after you left, undoubtedly because of your sparkling personality, fabulous features, and monstrous breasts.
Nicole: Did you give them my number?!
Jen: Nicole, don’t be ridiculous, they were cheering for Michigan and probably had cocks similar in size of that of a small welch corgi.
Nicole: You’re right, Jen – wanna to make out?
Jen: Go Bucs!
Ok, so that may have not been totally verbatim, but it's close.

In other news, I expressed interest in the California position that was offered to me last week. I told them I was not interested but after two glowing talks with my supervisor on Friday and today, my facility manager, I've had a crazy change of heart. So, yeah… looks like I just may be moving back to the West Coast.

Will I ever get out of this place?!?

Did I get the new job in Minnesota – no. Am I disappointed – yes. Did I just spend the last two hours completing my annual contributions summary for my yearly review – yes. Do I feel I gave it my all in 2006 – no. Did I spend 90 minutes of the time trying to embellish my meager performance – yes. Will I come out with a below average performance rating – no. Is this part of the reason I am not yet ready to leave this company – yes. Did I make effective use of my time this week – no. Will I leave early anyway – yes.

I am bartending all weekend. I am also quitting after Thanksgiving. It’s been too much lately and, to be perfectly honest, I am really just so above putting up with all the bullshit from the loser assholes.

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Tough Guys

I would also like to mention I took more than $40 off the

poker-playing, big talking fellas in poker... suckers.

Bad Weather Friday

As I write this, I am sitting approximately 30 miles south of Eau Claire, Wisconsin… sitting… in my rental car… on the interstate… not moving. The first Midwest winter snow storm hit late last night and it’s taking its toll on the idiots of the road. But, I should rewind, like, a lot. There is much to recap and hopefully the anger you feel as a result of my inattentiveness to this blog in the last week will be lessened.

My trip back to South Dakota was a good one. My friends and I got completely wasted (and my parents paid for the whole tab) and although I did not have sex myself that night, I derived some pleasure from pimping out my friend to another friend. Sometimes, giving really is better than receiving because these two kids were in need, even moreso than I.

The wedding on Saturday was as “rural” (PC for "white trash") as expected. The mullets, shaved heads with long ponytail, and 16-year-old hookers that adorned the groom's side of the church were a stark contrast to the suits and dresses of our side. I ate dinner (free meal, duh) but didn't hang around for the dance portion of the evening because, well, I had better offers elsewhere.

All in all, it was fantastic weekend with my amazing friends.

Monday started off with a real zeal for my job. I worked from 7:20 AM Monday morning through 2:30 AM Tuesday, with only a pause for lunch. I returned to work a mere two hours later (at 4:30 AM) for 4.5 straight hours of meetings. Tuesday did have an up side, though -another division of the company I work for wanted me in Minneapolis on Thursday to interview for a position I applied for.

And here we are, in the middle of a snowstorm, on a Friday. The only benefit to topping out at 40 mph and/or not moving at all is that I wont get another $261 speeding ticket like the one I received yesterday. Fucking Wisconsin... beer, cheese, and expensive speeding tickets.

Forgetting Franz

"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." That's my all-time favorite Kafka quote and has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this blog entry.

I learned tonight that I have the power to save your sorry ass and lift you out of purgatory. I recommend sending me flowers... or jewelry... or your molars (don't ask). And, God forbid (no pun intended), I expire after taking a lethal combination of sedatives, I ask that you do the same for me.