Weekend in Review

Bed times: 4am, 2:30am, 3am, respectively.
Bars visited: 8
Liquors drank: 5 (number of drinks unknown)
Vikings wins: 1
Times arrested (almost): 1
Boys kissed: 1
Weddings attended: 0!!!
Number of text messages sent while waiting for bathroom: 7
Twins wins: 2 (sadly, also 2 losses)
Times pleasured by self: 4
Naps: 3
Strippers: 3
Showers: 5
Misdemeanors: 2, which were total bullshit and I'll be cleared of them by week's end
To Do List items completed: 0

I think it's pretty safe to say it was damn good weekend.