Rolling Out the Welcome Mat

Ok, so I may or may have not mentioned that I am taking on a boarder. It’s not a roommate – it’s different. Like the difference between a 2 or 3 finger vagina. (Some of you will get this, some of you will not.) Well, it was supposed to be different, anyway. It started out by my former roommate saying he had a buddy (Brad) going to school near me and asking if said buddy could stay one night a week. No problem. Well, it looks as though Brad will be staying Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. I guess I have a roommate, seeing as how I am only there Mon-Thurs, as well. When I agreed to him paying $50/month – it seemed very fair, as it was for one night a week, occasionally more. Shit, I was paid less for a series of videotapes of my sorority sisters in the shower. But now that I know he is staying all week, it doesn't quite seem like enough, but I know he and his wife (I know this is getting stranger with every sentence) have another place they’re paying for and… well…. whatever. If it gets to be a financial burden, I’ll just make him fork out some more a month or sell his car when he is sleeping. I am not worried about it, though. Not at all worried, in fact.

So, this new roommate is a very bittersweet thing for me. As I have said before, I like masturbating to porn constantly and gorging myself on chili cheese fries. This usually ends with me “self-medicating” and lying naked in the fetal position on my coffee table, calling ex-boyfriends and crying myself to sleep. My former roommates did not mind the ritual, but who knows about this guy. It will be nice to have the company, that’s for sure, but at what cost (figuratively, not financially)?

I will most assuredly keep you posted. Maybe this new person will lend himself as good blogging material.