Opulent Living

I was SOOOOO much busier than previously thought, but I hate to disappoint. Although the sight of me always disappoints and I'm not doing a whole lot about that, but whatever.

TBC and I were talking about a book a couple days ago and the book crossed my path again in the article titled, Simple living yields simply millions in savings, found here:

The article basically supplied me with seven more reasons I will never be worth a million dollars, unless of course I choose to sell every organ I have on the black market or patent the next Pet Rock idea. For those of you who know me and read the list, you will smile and think happy thoughts of me... for those of you who don't know me, you'll probably still read this and a premature "fuck you" for judging me.

1. They live well below their means.

What, like you don't pay 70% of your paycheck towards a mortgage and the remainder on Jimmy Choo shoes?!? Seriously, what does "below" really mean, anyway?

2. They allocate their time, energy and money efficiently, in ways conducive to building wealth.

I've already done that. I spent a lot of time, energy, and money on landing all of my rich ex-husbands and it certainly has built my wealth.

3. They believe that financial independence is more important than displaying high social status.

Nothing is more important than making others feel inferior. Well, maybe making fun of others is more important, but that is where it ends.

4. Their parents did not provide economic outpatient care.

Ok, if my parents didn't "provide economic outpatient care", how would I afford to feed my addictions: food, drugs, weddings, and Coach bags (not necessarily in that order).

5. Their adult children are economically self-sufficient.

I am so totally economically self-sufficient. I buy everything I want. Additionally, I don't believe you hit adult status until your married - that is what my parents taught me.

6. They are proficient in targeting market opportunities.

Did someone say Target and the Market District? Finally, I qualify for something on this list, I love shopping at both places.

7. They chose the right occupations.

To my credit, I may have actually gotten this one right.


So, I am shooting 1 of 7 from the field; I guess you could say this leaves a lot of room for improvement. You could also say I suffer from only-child syndrome. While you're at it, you could also say I am gorgeous. (Only the last item being false.) I understand by saying these things, it fuels the already marred image you have of me, but I can take it. My friends and enemies will agree that generally speaking, I am a good person, except to really stupid people... and racists... and people who think they look good in orange... but overall good. I am generous of my time, my resources, and my self. I worked through high school and college and have not forgotten when my family was in transition and had nothing but bills and piling debt. Things changed, however, and so did my affinity for extravagances. Recently, though, I had an epiphany and changed my ways after the purchase of my home. I did not stop snorting lines, drinking myself stupid, or having sex with random men but I did declare my financial independence from my parents (not that it was all that much since college graduation). It's been tough (for both parties), but not as tough as going without salsa for more than three days, so I know I will be able to make it.

Have a great weekend. I will miss some of you and continue to loathe others... you know who you are.