One from the Road

It's Monday afternoon and I am just now beginning to recover... it was a typical weekend of booze, drugs, and anal sex. I had a wedding on Friday night in my hometown. This weekend's nuptials were more than just "a wedding", but I encumbered those thoughts like a champ. The liquor flowed freely and once again, I found myself peeing in the fruit punch; I'm beginning to think this has become somewhat of a wedding habit of mine. Saturday was filled with more drinking, sitting on the dock bitching about our parents**... and oh yeah, plenty of anal sex. I am a fat pile of shit, so of course I managed to find time to eat, but showering and washing my "dirty" sheets was simply out of the question. After not going to sleep at all on Thursday night, I thought it would be a brilliant move to not sleep Saturday night, either. Although, it's hard to fall asleep with a dick in your mouth. I was a bit woozy on the morning flight, but perked up and managed to fill yesterday more of the same.... drugs, booze, and oral sex (I like switching it up a bit on Sundays because God is watching).

I was a trooper this morning, though, and I am even at work. (not in Chicago, though). Seeing as how I am so important (and that the other engineers like staring at my tits), I was invited to attend a conference in Minnesota... my old stomping grounds. Since I am a genius when it comes to avoiding work, I wrangled a paid trip to hang out with my friends for yesterday and today. It's true that I am at work now, but I showed up at 1:30 and am only still here because I am writing this post - hardly "work".

I'll would try to post something over the next few days, but it would require me firing up the computer at night and since I only do this thing to deter me from work... that would be silly. I'll catch up with y'all in a few days.

**Apparently, it was "Fatigue Your Kid About Marriage" (aka FYKAM pronounced, 'fuckem') weekend in South Dakota. Of the six of us sitting on the dock, 3 girls - 3 boys all very single, five parents had mentioned if we were entertaining thoughts of getting married someday. We polled some other friends at the bar - same story. My parents usually don't bug me about it, but in the spirit of the FYKAM holiday, my Mom started in on the drive home from picking me up at the airport.

Oh, I would also like to note that while in the MSP Airport, I rode the escalator with Ryan Harris, Notre Dame football standout and featured in MTV's True Life, "I Want the Perfect Body". I was then joined on the Tram by Dustin Diamond, who played "Screech" on NBC's teen hit, Saved By The Bell.