Hey therre, y'all

Hey yo, niggs - how dem tings wich yoube flow’n… shiiiit, iz coo herre, juw kno… jiz chillwen. Sorry, I’m just so engrossed in the culture, I lost my head for a minute. No apologies for the semi-racial slur, either. What? - like I really give a shit if I alienate the four ‘regular’ readers…. nigga, please. Chinks, Spicks, Jewbies, Redskins, and Carpet Pilots – there, did I miss any?! (don't answer that)

Anyway, the weather during the walk from the hotel to the car and into work has been pleasant – oh wait, not it hasn’t - it’s been raining… for all fifty feet. I’d complain about how crappy this trip has been, but I’m afraid of jinxing it because truth be told, it could be a hell of a lot worse, for sure.

I’m way strapped for time but here’s Friday’s Five Things I Think About When I’m Pretending to Listen:

28) What the speaker’s orgasm face probably looks like.
35) The statistical odds of the Timberwolves actually winning their upcoming game (and fyi - they're not good).
53) What shoe I would be wearing if I wasn’t in unfashionable steel-toes.
78) An estimation of volatilities under a Merton's jump-diffusion model and an uncertain volatility model.
40) Food.