Free Lunch

Today's schedule: meetings, meetings, meetings, LUNCH!!, more meetings. Oh, did I mention the lunch was free?!? Maybe it's because I am still relatively fresh out of college or maybe it's just a feeling of self-worth, but I'm not sure why I get so excited about a free lunch. Ok, it's safe to say that the fact that food is involved is pretty exciting regardless. In college, one or both of my parents would be in town and take me and my friends out for a meal, their treat of course. Hearing the news of my parents' offer was as if the heavens above had opened up, ready to shower us with steak, appetizers, and even dessert. But, that was in college... and we all know what college eating is like. Now, I am a professional... fine, maybe "professional" is a stretch; let's just say I have a job. I am paid fairly and I have no problem picking up a tab or two when I am out with friends. And yet... I still like sucking dick. Wait, what?!? And yet... I still cream when someone offers to take me out for a free meal. Sorry fellas, I don't cream over a free meal when we are going out on a date, that is an expectation... and yes, I know you have your own expectations. You know, I think I just solved my mystery - the excitement of a free lunch (at work in particular) comes from getting something unexpected. It's like winning a raffle or the lottery. (The author recognizes that a free lunch is probably NOTHING like winning the lottery, but go with it, you bugfaces.) It's breaking free from the binds of routine and in my case, getting something (read lunch) for nothing (read work productivity).

Speaking of work, I should get back to this meeting. I have no doubt they think I am typing some notes... or they just don't care. I also have no doubt I am the best (and most beautiful) engineer they've ever worked with... ego withstanding.