Halloween

Chicagoans go all out for Halloween, not quite like the idiots up North, but crazy nonetheless. This is why I knew I could not let my friends down by allowing this night to slip by without making my mark. And make my mark I did... where do I begin? First of all, my costume (and my amazing personality) was a huge hit. I was selected for the costume contest but unfortunately, no one can beat a midget Smurf. To say I was drunk on Saturday would be similar to calling the Titanic a dingy and that the ship's captain had a minor run-in with an iceberg. If there is such a thing as a slight case of alcohol poisoning, I'm pretty sure I had it. So much so that I had to take the afternoon off of work (today) because I was still trying to recover. I am going to spare you the vivid details, the amazing stories, the outlandish bar tab but I made being awake for 26 hours straight with nothing but some weed, a cheeseburger, a liter of vodka, and a handful of shots look good... especially good looking if you were staring at my lifeless body sleeping in the bathtub of a posh downtown hotel.

Best Halloween Ever.