Preface and Postscript
I just finished a book last night. (Yes, I know how to read.) I hate ending a book, I also hate starting books. I don't like starting a book because it's the fear of the unknown and there is some commitment involved. Since I haven't been in a committed relationship for a while, I should enjoy the feeling, just me and my book (and my vibrator). I also am uncomfortable starting a book when I am around other people; it's a little neurotic, I know. The beginning of most books are rather boring to me because it's all character development. I know this is very important, but I am anxious to get to the good stuff. I know Phil is clenching his fists right now because I am sure this statement qualifies me as the epitome of the "average moviegoer"and why films such as the Pacifier made a gagillion dollars and why all recent movie releases suck. Well, P - you suck. :-)
Books should be started in the comfort of your own home when you have some time to devote to getting through the preface and first chapter. Finding this time is easy for me, seeing as how my friends distanced themselves from me after that whole Halloween Manifesto thing in '01. If you take a new book with on vacation or to the airport, the book may suck; in which case, if you're anything like me - hot and available, you will be A) stuck with a book you don't want to read, forcing you to stare at people until the police politely escort you out of the area, or B) stuck reading a shitty book when you could be stalking that guy you started following in the C Concourse.
The ending of books are worse. I'm not sure why, but I never have a good feeling after I've finished a book, not like the one I get after I've polished off a pint of Dreamery Ice Cream. There is no achievement of success, not that I've felt much (any) of that in my lifetime, but you know what I mean. Hating the completion of books, I usually end up reading the boring acknowledgements pages and that sort of bullshit. Well, how lame is this - it's like being in a theater and watching the credits after you've seen the words "The End" (which, you rarely see now-a-days, anyway).
This is why I am often reading two books at the same time, figuratively of course, not simultaneously. (Shit do I have to spell everything out for you people.) I just can't go through ending and starting a book without some sort of break between; a little neurotic, I know.
The End. (See how nice that sounds).
Books should be started in the comfort of your own home when you have some time to devote to getting through the preface and first chapter. Finding this time is easy for me, seeing as how my friends distanced themselves from me after that whole Halloween Manifesto thing in '01. If you take a new book with on vacation or to the airport, the book may suck; in which case, if you're anything like me - hot and available, you will be A) stuck with a book you don't want to read, forcing you to stare at people until the police politely escort you out of the area, or B) stuck reading a shitty book when you could be stalking that guy you started following in the C Concourse.
The ending of books are worse. I'm not sure why, but I never have a good feeling after I've finished a book, not like the one I get after I've polished off a pint of Dreamery Ice Cream. There is no achievement of success, not that I've felt much (any) of that in my lifetime, but you know what I mean. Hating the completion of books, I usually end up reading the boring acknowledgements pages and that sort of bullshit. Well, how lame is this - it's like being in a theater and watching the credits after you've seen the words "The End" (which, you rarely see now-a-days, anyway).
This is why I am often reading two books at the same time, figuratively of course, not simultaneously. (Shit do I have to spell everything out for you people.) I just can't go through ending and starting a book without some sort of break between; a little neurotic, I know.
The End. (See how nice that sounds).
posted by Nicole @ 9:38 AM
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