By Request

Subtitled: Reality TV: more alit than real

First, I would like to admit I like reality shows. And while I am getting things off my chest, I would also like to confess to a series of murders I committed in 1996 while vacationing in Tennessee. I am not a reality junkie, however (and I am looking at you, Kiley - who is not reading this post and is the friend I referred to in Loyal Friend to the End). Where was I, oh yeah - reality television and my non-obsession. I like the following: Apprentice, Survivor (although, I missed seasons 3 and 4, those are the years I actually had a life), Amazing Race, and I used to like Big Brother, but this season sucks and I am so over it. Oh sure, I can't resist a weekend worth of the Mtv shows, but that's different.... no one can, it's like crack (and I outta know). What I don't understand is the new genre of people who make it their life's work to become a "reality star". There are people who interview for numerous reality shows in the hopes of cashing in on their ability to be a total bitch/idiot/douchebag/slut/etc. in front of millions of gullible viewers who watch in hopes of making their own lives seem less pathetic. Because even if you're 41, a virgin, and living with your mother in Brooklyn, "at least I'm not that guy." And since I am the 41 year-old virgin in NYC, I outta know. With the crop of tv personality wannabes, it's easy to say people are no longer acting like themselves... they are playing a role, a role they were cast in. I usually play the part of "the fat chick with multiple personalities and an affinity for porn and body washes that smell like a Mexican restaurant." Well, that's not much of a stretch for me, but you get the idea.

With this in mind, why are we still calling them "reality shows"? Why not just say, "improv night"... it's sketch comedy (even when there's "drama", it's still comedic). The situations are set up, the people hand picked, the producers probing questions and driving conflict and don't forget the brilliant editing. It's always great when Tonya (MTV's RW Chicago and RW/RR Challenges) goes on the reunion specials and blames the editing for making her look crazy. Let's review, you slept with three guys, made out with an additional six, threw a chick's Louis Vuitton (and entire contents of suitcase) in the pool, and flipped out because you were being picked on. No amount of creative editing can change that - those are facts. I could go on but it woud be more of the same.

In closing, reality shows are not going away anytime soon, so I suggest shifting your paradigm. Don't think of them as "reality", think of them as sitcoms with shitty writers, poor casting, and if your lucky, voyeuristic-like hidden camera sex scenes.