Hoagies... a love story

Ok, so I have a true appreciation for music and the people who make it. I would definitely date a "guy in the band" - unfortunately, I have little to offer him, or any man, for that matter. I am not passionate about one band, group, or artist in particular, however. True, I told a guy I'd screw him for a DMB ticket - but I've said the same thing for a hoagie sandwich. I just don't understand Superfans... and we all know at least one of them. The person who would wish bodily harm to their family to hang out with their idol for just one day - maybe that's not saying much, because I've wished the same thing on my family for a hoagie sandwich. Anyway, I used to make one road trip a summer to see an artist I liked and even then, I stayed with relatives and it was no big deal. Other than that, if they are in the area and I can score decent seats, I'm in. I simply enjoy hearing an artist in his or her purest form, without the studio tricks; what's more, I really love acoustic sets... and hoagie sandwiches, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that. I've never understood the people who fill their heads with useless artist facts, tour setlists, and 'what if' scenarios, all while trying to decipher every word to every song. I've also never understood necrophilia, but that's for another day. These people spend thousands of dollars traveling around to see "their band" and be a part of the moment.

Let me delve deeper into the whole 'moment' thing. I like listening to live music because it's art and I like expression of self coupled with a catchy chorus. What I am sick of are people who go to concerts just to say they were there. They feel there is a "coolness" attached to seeing this band or that, that somehow they will be more insightful or their life will have more meaning to others. I'd like to say to them, "You're still a douchebag"... or in most cases, "This concert can not erase the fact you gave a guy a blow job in the Carls, Jr parking lot."

In addition, there are also "new band" people. I am a new band person but only because I like good music and try to stay on top of emerging artists because I like new sound. But this is not about me and I don't have to justify anything to you people. The difference between myself and most "new band" people is that they are a bunch of pampered, supercilious pussies, who think they are so hot and always trying to be "in the scene". They crave the moment they can tell someone they heard that band in some dive bar three years before they were selling out major venues. And ultimately, he or she goes off on some bullshit tangent about how the group 'sold out' to sell records. They crave that "coolness" as much as I crave hoagies... hoagies and the desire to indiscriminately kick their asses.