Smarty mcAlchoholic

When you are ordering beer by the tray, you’re in for a good night… unless, of course, it’s a Tuesday night. Correction: you’re still in for a good Tuesday night, but you’re also in for a lousy Wednesday. Seriously, getting plastered on a Tuesday – what was I thinking?!? (Actually, I was thinking that men drinking on a Tuesday are far more desperate and easier to take advantage of… and I may not have to waste a perfectly good roofie.) Unfortunately, when you have a 5:00AM wake up time looming, you’re an idiot. To make matters worse, the wake-up time was pushed up to 4 AM because you were too keen on drinking to realize your friend had left everything of his in your vehicle and you had to drive them to him the next morning. Two hours sleep on a “school night” – great move on my part… like the time I thought Jesus would appear if I did just one more line… white powder – white light, it totally seemed plausible at the time.

Anyway, I made my morning commitments but hit the wall around 2 o’clock and headed home for a nap, which I do weekly but usually only because I’m bored. This time, though, I left my work unfinished. But you know, no one really gave a shit that I hadn’t sent out the e-mail detailing the system and live test data on a project I’m leading. (See how I gave you all those unnecessary details to try to impress you.)

Speaking of sex (no? well, whatever), drunk calling also makes you reveal innermost thoughts and secrets you normal wouldn’t… and shouldn’t, for that matter. Like, “I think I want to have sex with you,” “my parents still pay my cell phone bill,” and “oh that - it’s just a silly little std.”