It's the shits. (Pun intended - read on)

In homeowner news… and isn’t it just my luck. The main floor toilet broke a couple weekends ago and since I have the best fortune ever, the $.08 part that broke may end up costing me the expense of a complete bowl replacement – no, this isn't a joke or a cheap ploy to get you into bed. (Although, the upside to this household predicament is that I have been able to say the word, "ballcock," multiple times and actually sound intelligent. Well, truth be told, no one really sounds intelligent when they say, “ballcock,” but it is acceptable plumbing vernacular, so go sit on it.)

See, the ballcock (awesome, isn't it) installed with my toilet is not standard and the broken piece cannot be purchased at your local home improvement store. No, it must be special ordered and of course, the tiny part cannot be bought individually, so the entire ballcock must be replaced. And, we (we = the plumbing guy) are not even sure if that will work, according to the manufacturer’s booklet, so we (we = me) are ordering two different sets with the hope that we (we = plumbing guy) can throw something workable together. If that doesn’t work… yeah, a new stool. (Although, the upside to is that for days, I can tell people I am going to look at stool samples.)


Update: Since I started this post, found out worse news. The toilet may be an export and not fixable so sure enough, the whole fucking thing may need replacing... well, shit (literally and figuratively).