Shrove Tuesday

I woke up later than I wanted to this morning and remembered I had a 6:00am meeting, so I took a shower and busted ass to get here semi on time. When I didn’t see the right cars in the parking lot or the lights on in the conference room, I thought I had gone to the wrong building for the meeting… nope, the meeting is NEXT Tuesday. Ugh, I’m so stupid. Since I didn’t get ready at all, I just sorta feel sloppy. I mean, I look professional and my hair is up and I rarely wear make-up anyway, but I just don’t feel put together. Weird.

Moving on, as the title suggests, today is Shrove Tuesday; also known as Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday to you hedonistic types. Today marks the last day before the season of Lent, which happens to be my favorite Church season. And just so you know, Lent to us freaky Catholics is not just about giving something up, it’s not even required - common penitential practices can include prayer, fasting, and works of charity. (You didn’t know today was going to be so educational, did you.) Last year, I didn’t give anything up, per se, but went to Mass daily. This year, though, I am giving up dairy products. (C’mon, you didn’t actually think I would give up any real vices, like substance abuse, cursing, or reality television, did you?) When you think about it, though, it’s not going to be easy – especially for someone who loves cream food and cheese as much as I do. My reasons stem back to the whole golden calf and the Israelites being sent to the desert blah, blah, blah, thing. I won't bore you with the story or the details, just know it makes sense in my head and that’s all that really matters, bitches. But then again, that 6 am meeting today made sense in my head too - shit. Well, it will really be Fat Tuesday for me… I’m going to overindulge on pizza for lunch and nachos for dinner. And for dessert – Cadbury Mini Eggs. If crack were a candy – it would be these. Seriously, make a good Mardi Gras a great Mardi Gras and go purchase a bag – but make it a small bag because I don’t want you getting fat – I hate fat people… and Jews.