The Sport's Fan

I really like sports and athletics, in general, except for soccer; I hate soccer and it’s a sport for wussies. I also love going to professional sporting events (except for lame ass soccer games). Although I should point out that professional soccer players themselves are quite attractive. Getting back on course with my topic, it’s safe to say I’ve been to fifty or so professional sporting events and seeing as how I did not grow up in an area with any professional teams (or any amateur teams, for that matter), this is quite a feat. In that time, I’ve assessed the ilk of the sport’s fan, in a totally shallow and petty manner, of course. Would you expect anything better of me – seriously, people? I noted that as a general rule, some fans of a particular sport are simply better looking (overall) than fans of another. Without further adieu, here’s my list of the top four professional sports’s fans in Hot to Not order

1. Baseball: Top hotties. Typically, these guys are professionals and they are drawn to the sport because season includes something like four thousand games, making it easy for them to fit a few home games into their schedule. These dudes frequent the gym – at least 3 times per week.

2. Basketball: The basketball fan is usually a former basketball player but also includes the “student manager.” The student manager is the guy who was best friends with the basketball players, but cut from the team freshmen year. Basketball fans represent the broadest scope of fan with respect to the socio-economic scale. These blokes have a gym membership but only for playing pick-up games on the weekends.

3. Hockey: Hockey fans are former hockey players, period. (no pun intended) Primarily hailing from Northern states (duh), they are corn fed and Momma bred and commonly good guys but always in the Jekyll and Hyde way. You’ll often hear a hockey fan being described as such, “He’s awesome until he gets drunk, and then he’s a real prick.” The hockey gentleman has a gym membership but does not go.

4. Football: And finally, we reach a fan near and dear to my heart but unfortunately resting at the bottom of the hotness ladder. What can I say except for what you see is what you get? Football is a sport that embraces the couch potato and unfortunately, that’s what you find swimming in the football fan pool. Football fans have made and art of tailgating and why shouldn’t meat, cheese and beer be a top priority to any Sunday morning – who needs church, right? “Going to the gym” for this alpha male is “going to Jim’s” once a month to play poker.

Folks, this is just a generalization so don’t fricken play out a bunch of hate mail my way. In fact, I could consider myself an exception to the rule (and as a rule, totally exceptional); I just love football… but then again, I am no stranger to the ballpark, either. I was going to go on about my experiences dating fans like those mentioned above but holy crap this post is getting long. Maybe another time.