When you're here, you're family.

The next time you go to the Olive Garden chain of restaurants, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for the freak section. That's right, the Olive Garden attracts all kinds - although none that would be looking for decent Italian food, but that's another blog for another day. During my recent trip to the establishment, I noticed how they've cleverly found a way to corral the mutants into one area. This area is somewhat secluded from the average patron, wanting them to actually enjoy their dinner, not throw it up. I know this because I was in the section and although embarrassed, I'm not too proud to talk about it.
Upon our arrival, it was just another dining experience, then it took an ugly turn - literally and figuratively. We were seated next to a table of four women who could easily scare scores of children with one glance. Hell, they could probably scare adults with one glance. No big deal - the fuglies in the corner, keeping them in the shadows. The next couple to enter was toting the dual oxygen tank, nose hose in tact. The fourth table - two people on a date - the guy bearing a strong resemblance to Corky on "Life Goes On" with one exception, Corky was better looking. His date, a pretty face and a 3/4 right leg to match. I shit you not, her leg was a good four inches shorter than the other and as a result, she had a bit of a lurch. Hmmm.... maybe this was all some weird coincidence.... then the harelip twins walked in. Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!! What kind of place with this!? I just wish I had the foresight to charge admission!
You may or may not be wondering what I was doing in the circus tent? A gal I work with is 9 months pregnant (which is reason enough) and asked me to drive her to get her parents. They came from Honduras and although they are both doctors, their English is about as good as my Spanish, which is to say, "esta no muy bueno, mi amigos." So there we all were - one big traveling sideshow converging on the same night.

Ciao!