Sci-fi Thriller

A probe injects you with micro-organisms, whereby something grows inside of you, feeding off you and using your body as it's sole way to sustain life and the only way to get rid of it is to painfully self-extract it from your body. Well, there are other ways, but we wont go into that here. It's totally a set-up for a great book, except for one thing - this is a work of non-fiction. It's pregnancy and it's for this reason that I am so totally freaked out by the whole thing. I am also freaked out by the midget transvestite who works at Burrittoville, but for different reasons. The whole thought of a human being growing inside of another human is not beautiful, it's disgusting. Story: a few years back when I was at the gym, I saw a pregnant woman and it made me physically ill, so much so that I had to get off the stairmaster and go to another area of the facility. I had eaten Chinese food that night and something told me it wouldn't be near as good coming up as it was going down... the plus side is that after it came up, I could enjoy it again. (too far? I thought so.) Point being, pregnancy is gross.

Anyway, 3 woman are... correction, were pregnant where I work. The first had her baby last week, the second last night and the third is due in two weeks. Naturally, they come to talk to me about it because I am so into babies.
Her: Do you want to see the ultrasound?!
Me: No... unless of course your baby is disfigured, then that would be pretty funny. So, is your baby defective or what?
Her: Well, the doctor said...
Me (interrupting): It's a yes or no question.
Her: No
Me: I guess that's good because there was a kid with a mis-shaped head we used to beat-up all the time. Well, see ya later.

Combine that with the fact that most of the people in this office are women, I am about ready to punch myself in the face. Correction, I am about ready to punch them in the face. I'm serious, one more mention of pre-eclampsia and it's over. Point being, as long as you and the fetus are "normal", I don't give a shit about your pregnancy.

For the record, I want to be a wife and a mother, I really do, preferably in that order. I should also take this opportunity to put to rest the idea that I may be a lesbian, I am not... and that year in Europe doesn't count. I just don't know about the whole 9 month thing... and there's that carrying a human thing. People, and by people I mean women who shit out a litter of their own, keep telling me when the time is right, my opinion will change. These people also said that about my opinion of Jews, Muslims, Blacks and any other race I can try to alienate for the story's sake. Point being, some things just never change.