Bitchy McBitcherson

Well, after the success of my home renovation last night, I've... you know what, I'm not going to lie. I don't know you guys and could care less what you really think of me. As it turns out, last night I cooked a pot of spaghetti I didn't eat, attached only three of four legs on a new coffee table, sat on the couch, and polished off a bag of Baked Cheetos all while I watched the most worthless television programming ever. If you add sexually touching myself uncontrollably to that, it shapes up to be just a typical night - but I said I was going to get something done. I did, however, organize my bathroom, which unless you have a vagina or wish you did, you would not understand the time or energy this takes. Hair products, face products, hygiene products, lotions, creams, jewelry, and the countless bottles of prescription drugs have finally have found a home in my bathroom. But, that's not where I was going to with the post today.

Work. I make it a rule not to bitch about work, but as we all know rules are meant to be broken - especially the one about not dating outside the family because let's face it, the sex was great. It's not complaining about my job as much as it is complaining about how I approach my job. I think it's pretty safe to say I get paid too much for doing nothing, not that you should be paid anything for doing nothing, but then how do you account for Section 8, Welfare, and Food Stamps? Prior to moving to this new position, I could easily say I was keeping my end of the bargain and actually earning my salary. Well, I wasn't coming in baked all the time, anyway. However, since then, I have been a total piece of crap. I'm doing just enough to keep my boss off my ass, which is very little.... the amount of work, that is, not my ass.

I have been given meaningless tasks that a blind monkey could do and as a result, have no real motivation to do them. The other projects I've been given don't mean shit to anyone, so I'll wait until the last possible moment. That moment being just before they shoot me an e-mail to the effect of, "how is the project coming along because we really need it done to save babies and kittens." It's in this last possible minute, I am in my finest, I bust it out like a champ and they are so impressed. Again, giving me no real drive to change my ways. Without boasting... I already established I don't care what you think... I am the resident expert on certain aspects of this facility and I would do a lot more with that, but the guy I work with for that part of my job is, to quote another, a total fucktard. (holy longest sentence ever) He is the most worthless, lazy, disorganized, piece of shit I have ever worked with. Believe me, I've worked with a lot of douche bags before (and I am looking at you Father Michael) but this guy is different. I can't explain it, let's just say he sucks as much as an Asian hooker during a sales conference (and again, I'm looking at you, Father Michael). I'd give it the 'ol college try, but if you knew me in college, you'd know that's not saying much.

But, the way I figure is that I have it pretty fucking easy right now and I need to make a better effort not to screw this thing up.