I'll walk, thanks.

It’s so annoying when lousy drivers are oblivious to what menaces they are on the road and repeatedly argue as to what good drivers they are. This is precisely why I have never claimed to be a good driver. While I am not a totally inadequate driver and far better than most, I’ve had my fair share of fender-benders, speeding tickets, and vehicular homicide charges.

The other day, I backed into a car, but not just any car – a fucking Taurus. Of course, you and I both know how lame Ford Taurus owners are. Ugh. I knew dealing with this TaurASS was going to be a big pain so I just drove away but not before I left a bit of cocaine dust on the bumper to throw the cops off.

When I told Cory about the infraction, his comment was that I was really having a streak of bad luck with my truck. I then recounted my driving record to him, pointing out that maybe it wasn’t the bad-luck-truck as much as it was me. But bless the guy for trying to make me feel better about it. HOWEVER, I was a passenger in two accidents during my four-day trip to Honduras, so I think Cory may be right. Yes, I’ve just had bad luck when it comes to automobile accidents, including my own. Which also leads me to believe that maybe my string of STD’s is also bad luck and not just because I am a slutty whore who’s "made bad life choices."