Fall into Depression

Autumn is usually my favorite season, but this season it sucks. It's having the opposite effect on my emotions and making me very depressed. Not the Zoloft-popping, on the edge of a building, pissing myself and asking for demands like having ex-boyfriends list the reasons they broke up with me kind of depression. It's more like the singing-the-blues, feeding barking dogs anti-freeze to feel better kind of depression. I always thought I loved fall because of the changing weather and the beautiful foliage (cliche, I know). But I recently discovered such is not the case. I love autumn for what is used to mean: the beginning of the social calendar (school starting), football games, basketball, being with friends, sweatshirts, shopping the new fall lines, not breaking into a sweat on the 104 degree walk into work... you know, the usual stuff. So now that many of those elements are gone (in particular, the whole friends and social calendar thing), it has left me pretty bummed out. I had managed to dodge the fall season the last couple years, but being back in the temperate Midwest, it's in full swing and I've noticed.

For the record, I hate writing about feelings and emotions and crap like that on a blog. It should be filled with drunken merriment and the fun of killing baby seals, but fuck it. I'm feeling blue and screw you for judging me. Assholes. (Ok, maybe I do need Zoloft.)

More on this tomorrow... if I manage to make it out of bed in the morning. (kidding)